yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
