It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize