It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I am naked and annoyed.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
