Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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