I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
even my farts smell like vagina
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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