hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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