They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
