I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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