I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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