is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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