i think my tv is drunk
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
