There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
God, I missed his penis.
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