went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize