SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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