Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
