from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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