butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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