woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
