Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
