i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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