I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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