A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
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no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
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I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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