I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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