if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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