just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
