I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
