Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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