I hate all girls vehemently.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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