Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
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Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
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It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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