my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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