We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
