I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
