his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
