i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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