Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
