One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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