The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
