I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
