He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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