I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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