i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
