And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
