O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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