You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
