Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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