currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
