Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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