I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
