bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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