I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
