just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just want nice things and good sex
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
