Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
