Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize