I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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