Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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