the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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