White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
